Oneshot Theatre
by Master Masa Random
Summary: A series of oneshots made simply for humor's sake. Pairings change from time to time, contains graphic fluffiness and hopefully maybe cute scenes. CONTAINS OC's COMMONLY FOUND WITHIN THE OC COMMUNITY SUCH AS MASAYOSHI,CONNOR,HOWELL,AND OTHERS WHO APPEAR.
1. Masayoshi's Secret

One-shot theatre

Episode 1

MasayoshixConnor!? WOOT!

Serac, donning his leather coat and sporting a black bandana jumped through the Plexiglas window and strangled the deranged fangirl who appeared to have knocked out poor, young Master Random and was then taking control of the title screen, "CHANGE IT BACK! CHANGE IT BACK YOU SON OF A-"

One-Shot Theatre

Episode 1

Masayoshi's Secret

"Wan-wan-kun!"

Masayoshi Hitodama quickly ran and with an extravagant dive, leapt out the third story window and smashed into the ground. Though falling on your head like that would kill a normal man, Masayoshi simply stood up, dazed and confused.

"Wan-wan-kun!

The raven-haired mage shook his head like a dog trying to get dry, with a slight yelp he sprinted to a large bush on the edge of the surrounding forest. Masayoshi found this place when he first came to the school when he tripped and fell in. It was fascinating, about a good twenty yards in and a maybe six feet underground, Masayoshi used this place as a clever hiding spot to hide from his adorable roommates: the Narutaki twins.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Masayoshi flew back; his nose shooting out a stream of blood that quickly ruined his gakuran. His glasses flew right off his face as well. He couldn't help it, for the love of the Gods, here was Evangeline A.K. MacDowell, wearing nothing but a pair of black undergarments. Apparently she swaps her clothes here…

She stared at him angrily, apparently choosing to kill the intruder than to cover up for modesty. Her eyes glinted dangerously.

"Hehehehe… what's this? Masayoshi Hitodama, and his vice sin of Curiosity… I guess this is going to be our little secret huh? But then again, you can't really trust a human to not talk…" she held out her hand, where a small vial holding some sort of blue liquid, a maddened smile on her lips.

Masayoshi had three choices, he could turn and run for it, there was a 40 chance this would keep him alive, but only for a few moments. Choice three was to roundhouse kick the vial out of her hands and then prepare a spell to blast her back using a Lost Art from the future, and then rendering her memory to be not able to identify him. Lastly his choice would be to stick around and find out what that vial did.

---

"Wan-wan-kun!" Fuka hugged the shaggy-haired boy tenderly. "Ah… you're so cute!" Fumika hugged him as well, holding him tightly, refusing to let go, "Oh wan-wan-kun! This is great! But… we still have to find Masayoshi."

Masayoshi growled, his pointed ears twitched, and worst of all, his neck itched. Evangeline snickered from the small hole just a few feet away. Again with the growling, he had to be curious…


	2. Ojousama, I think I lo,,,

One-shot theatre

Episode 2

Ojou-sama… I think I lo-

Konoka stretched out her arms, taking in all the moonlight had to offer. She smiled contently; it was such a lovely night, followed by such a wonderful day! A Saturday of hanging out with Secchan, Negi, Connor, and Masayoshi, as well as meeting up with Yuna and Howell… after a quick picnic near the cherry blossoms the party headed over to the karaoke, where they spent most of the night drinking (non)-alcoholic beverages and just enjoyed each others company.

Setsuna remained composed and professional as ever beside her, but in the inside she was giddy and happy. Tonight was the night! So much has happened in terms of romanticism! Howell and Yuna shared an umbrella, Howell was terrified, but Yuna allowed him to squash up next to her so they could both fit under the umbrella. Though the swordswoman didn't show any emotion other tan mild interest, she knew it was a sign. Then when Masayoshi and Connor began to talk about how surviving the next school year and avoiding the girls for any relationships will be near-impossible, Setsuna chose to go for it, since there appeared to be a sign at every turn.

Setsuna cleared her throat, she already could feel her cheeks warm in the crisp cool air, "Erm… Konoka-ojou-sama… I think I…"

But the giddy occult-crazed girl began to flail her arms, her own face tinged red, "Masayoshi-kun! Hallo!" she yelled quite cutely.

The said raven-haired teacher was wandering the school grounds with Howell, they both looked up and Masayoshi gave a pleasant wave. Howell however was having a hard time of walking, talking, and avoiding the puddles that dotted the ground like a horrible case of acne.

Konoka sighed and leaned on the railing on the rooftop, "Ah… Masayoshi-kun's wandering off again… I wonder what he does so late at night…"

The sword-weilding Setsuna darkened, thus far she's been beaten in Konoka's heart by Masayoshi again! H-how? He wasn't that cool, hell, Connor would destroy him if being cool had anything to do with a person's power. She again cleared her throat, this time creeping up against Konoka, "Ojou-sama, I l-"

"I wonder if Masayoshi has a girlfriend…"

If she wasn't so good at being aware of her surroundings, Setsuna would have fell over and fall off the building and end up as a horrible splat on the ground. But instead she fell sideways and just hit her side, but was up again in an instant, "W-what do you mean Konoka-sama!?"

Ojou-sama herself blushed a little, putting her hands to her face, a gold ring flashing on her finger, "Er… well… I-I dunno…" she said between her fingers, working furiously to cover up her rapidly spreading red hue.

The loyal guardian stood there, turned to stone. Her jaw hanging and her eyes wide. No… that's impossible!

KONOKA LIKES MASAYOSHI!?

--------------------

I'm telling you guys, I'm really tired. I decided to take a quick vacation from that other site and stay here for a little. I'm a little nostalgic for the old days, you know, Jennon, Raidric, Serac, Masa, and those handful of guys that reviewed my stuff once… yeah… good times, good times…

This is for the yuri-hoards that love to see KonoXSetsu action. Closest you're going to see unless if suddenly hops up my status in the "viewed" section. I don't personally like KxS, but I know not all of you are hoards of perverts and some of you just think it's really cute. Well bye.


	3. Teh Heh!

One-shot theatre

Episode 3

Teh-Heh!

"To tell you the truth she's a little too cute…" Masayoshi's dark hawkish eyes narrowed as the adorable ribbon-wearing transfer student skipped passed, and then jumped between Konoka and Setsuna, completely severing their talk and apparently cutting into her own conversation.

Connor chortled, his hands in his pair of khakis. He sneered a little, his brow moving his black bandana just a tad to the side, thus messing up his brown hair, "I don't see a problem. Just a little girl hanging with her friends, another little girl whose heart I'll unfortunately have to break…" he added slyly. He was feeling really good this day…

The dark haired younger teacher of the two held his black leather-bound book tightly, his knuckles white, "I just… I feel uneasy when she talks… it seems so… I don't know…" he shivered slightly.

Howell yawned and stretched, he was sitting on the ground, leaning against a beautiful tree near the side of the little path to the schools. He opened his ruby eyes a bit and smiled lazily, "Ah… so…" he held his hand to his mouth as he yawned again, "What have I missed?" he slowly got up to his feet and dusted off the gray vest he was wearing.

Masayoshi shrugged, "Oh nothing… I guess I'm just a little wary over nothing…"

"You're a paranoid wreck… in a good way."

The three teachers simultaneously sweat-dropped as a freakish frog-like creature jumped down from the tree, landing on Howell's head.

The badass of the three suddenly snapped a branch off of a dead tree, and then nodded to Howell, a strange look in his eyes, "Stand still buddy, I got 'em…"

Howell, though not the brightest of all people, knew what was about to happen and ducked, the branch narrowly avoiding the top of his… er… Motsu's head… in a good way.

Connor ran forward chasing after the albino man, now running for his life. The bandana-donning master of kickass-ness was hot on his heels, laughing maniacally.

Masayoshi, possibly the most skilled magic user of the three, sighed and bowed his head, "Ahh… this place has gotten so weird lately…"

A random person with a small nametag that said, "Orpheus" nodded briefly beside him, giving him the thumbs-up.

With a bitter sniff the dark haired teacher walked to his class.

---

It was study time. Masayoshi was originally planning on trying to create a simple system of a contained blast… unfortunately it appears Potions Class and Chemistry aren't the same. Two Nurse Office visits later, as well as a very flushed Ako (She took him every time); Masayoshi chose to simply let the students do whatever… but under the name of "study time".

Ako chewed on a stick of gum, and happily chatted with her dear friends. Had Negi's eyes fallen on this site he would have had sparkles in his eyes as all seemed wonderful in the world! However, if he looked one seat behind… that was another story.

Chihiro appeared to be smiling genuinely whenever Konoka asked her about the use of a certain chemical when combined with whatever Masayoshi just blew up. However, the moment the dearest Ojou-sama's eyes went back down to the papers, Chihiro would stick out her tongue at the already ill-tempered guardian.

Setsuna twitched a few times, and whenever she noticed Konoka completely oblivious, she would make either a threatening gesture of a very rude one: followed by a sneer or a manic smile.

Masayoshi growled slightly and stood up, "Class is over, please return to your rooms." He fingered his silver pen slightly, "Except for Konoka, Setsuna… and you Chihiro."

The three girls all looked up somewhat confused, but very submissively.

After having to smile and pat the backs of some of his more… emotional students, Masayoshi walked over to the three.

Konoka was somewhat terrified; last night she was watching a movie about a serial killer who pretended to be a young teacher. The killer had dark brown hair and a slight stubble, but had a pair of small glasses so eerily similar to Masayoshi's, as well as a large black book filled with the names of those he kidnaps and kills. In the light Masayoshi's hair gave off a slightly lighter tone, the shadows on his chin made him look unshaven and apparently having a tad stubble, his black book was under his left arm, as always, and his glasses reflected the light of the classroom.

Setsuna felt slightly disturbed as well, she heard stories from Connor about how sick Masayoshi is at times. Once, when he lost his book, Connor said Masayoshi went through the library and destroyed all of the guardians to find it, and it was in his room the entire time. She moved slightly, closer to Konoka.

Chihiro tried to look innocent and pleading, but in the inside the cross-dressing boy was scared. This guy scared him ever since he set eyes on him. The steely eyes, as well as a flitting shadow behind the rather happy looks, and a ghostly mark of some sort of unhappiness and haunted look of someone who has put his entire life into something he never believed in.

The teacher sat down and plopped his book down on Konoka's desk, "All of you girls have been doing very good lately. A great improvement for you Konoka, and Setsuna, I noticed that your grades have really increased since Chihiro chose this class. I'm very happy to have taught you this far. I just wanted you girls to know how proud I am of you." He smiled warmly and patted each girl on the head.

Konoka's face reddened slightly as he tousled her long hair, though he seemed no older than most of the girls, he was so grown-up and mature! Why can't grandpa pick out a guy like him!? She darkened even more as his eyes seemed to focus on her for the most part.

Setsuna darkened slightly, for what reason would he be doing this? Masayoshi may be awfully friendly but patting the girls' heads? He only does that to Fuka and Fumika… what in the… her eyes widened in realization, and then narrowed as a smile grew on her lips, "Thank you… Masayoshi-sensei."

Chihiro was terrified as the slightly older male touched his head, there was a slight pluck as one of his hairs came loose, but he never noticed, he tried to put on a cute, pretty girl smile. He laughed nervously, "The-heh! Thanks Masayoshi-kun!"

Masayoshi laughed a little and sent them on their way, as each girl left the room, their minds filled with thoughts varying from adoration, great thankfulness and pleasure, to mortification and horror. As the door was shut by a quivering Chihiro, Masayoshi laid back on the chair and sighed, content. He twirled a long brown hair in his hand, a magic circle slowly circling it, and etched above it was "MALE". With a single cold-hearted laugh, the darker of the two commented, "We have you now Mister Chihiro!"

---------------

Yawns… Wow, I yawned so much… but this is for dear Tsutomu-sempai, with the same tongue-in-cheek humor of Serac, with the main characters of Tsutomu, along with my own unique sense of… funniness.


	4. One, Two, Three

"ARGH! Serac! Hold her down, hold her down!" the high pitched voice screamed from behind the thick doorway.

The sound of crashing, then another sound resembling a vase breaking, and then a female wailing were all heard from within the room, "NO! Let me do this! I can do it! I can do it! I want it!!!"

"Damn it all! Masa! Grab the rope!"

"Uh… where do I tie her!?" was the question, seemingly from the higher pitched male.

"Umm… to the bed! The bed!" Came the quick reply from whoever Masa wasn't.

"OUCH! She hit me!"

"Then tie her hands to the two posts!"

"I don't like where this is going!"

The sound of a hand connecting to a cheek, and then came an angry remark "Get your head out of the gutter, man!"

Tsutomu and Jennon looked at the door in horror. Tsutomu shook her head quickly and made a gesture meaning, "I really don't want to know…" Jennon on the other hand was somewhat curious, but for the Lady Herself, he obeyed and the two continued their walk down the hall.

---

**One-shot theatre**

**Episode 4**

**One, Two, Three…**

Masayoshi popped the knuckles on his left hand and sighed, putting his arms behind his head and resting under the World Tree.

It was a most beautiful day, especially for a Friday. The clouds looked so fluffy and comforting, like great puffs of cotton that a giant chose to throw into the river that is the sky. The secretive mage smiled somewhat lazily, if only everyday was this peaceful, and then there would be no problem when it came to life… and he'd never be in this situation as it was.

**Chronologically 70 Years into the Future**

**Two Years back in Masayoshi's Internal Clock**

"Masayoshi!" A young woman wearing tight-fitting dark blue clothes ran through the chrome halls, looking for the weapon. Her light brown locks bounced slightly as she had a little hop to her step and a happy smile on her lips. Her blue eyes absorbed everything around her, and all was recorded into her stimulated mind.

The black haired boy was drawing a picture outside, a small sketching utensil in his left hand and a thick board in his right hand. He was trying to sketch the landscape, to forever imprint this moment in time, no matter where he was or when he was, there would always, always be this time.

He tried to capture the barely-visible dome above the city, protecting the city and its inhabitants from the severe global warming and demonic monsters that lived on the outside. He quickly drew up the rough shape of the power generator and the water pump, a dual system that works together to serve two purposes: underground water is constantly moving thanks to as water-powered stirrer-of-sorts, this conducts the electricity supplied to the city and lights the many lights in the city used to artificially provide the sunlight, using the honed electricity the water pump directly sends water to every home, when they use it it goes through a similar process called Direct Purification in which special bacterial technology cleans the water to the purest form and sends it back into the underground lake. Sure it sounds gross, but the water is cleaner every time.

He moved his black bangs out of the way as he began to sketch the government building, a tower of silver beauty. Even now probably all of the nations on the outside, the ones that survived the appearance of demons and monsters, were probably all talking about how they can maintain peace and tranquility while vying for the dying resources. Luckily the MARS Project is going very well, the only thing the surviving nations (Most of North America, The International Republic of Antarctica, The Western side of Europe, Eastern Siberia, Japan's Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, and Musashi Prefecture, and in China, only Beijing.) were still on good sides with.

The black haired youth smiled as he finished drawing the green hills, Japan is the only surviving nation that still has green grass and pure land. Of course that came with the price of so many deaths, only three cities survived and one desolate prefecture… but Japan is known for its beauty and its compassion with the Earth and its bounty, Eastern Siberia does the same, except their green is white. Unfortunately America, Western Europe and Beijing have devoted their funds to destroying the land and finding a way to house all the survivors, though that is a noble way to save the people, they still believe in their hearts that everyone lives or everyone dies…

Within the next few minutes he drew in some finer details, shading some places, making the clouds look even more beautiful that it was, and finally, at the bottom signed his name, "Masayoshi Hitodama…"

"Masayoshi!"

The black haired boy turned so quickly his glasses flew off, with an embarrassed chortle he picked them up and yawned, looking at the girl waving him over. He dusted off his black uniform, a very loose black jacket with a white undercoat and shirt, along with a pair of light yet durable pants. The mark on the shoulder of his jacket signified he was part of the Special Forces of Japan's Self Defense Force.

The girl ran over, out of breath, but still smiling, comparing her size to Masayoshi she came a foot above his stomach, "Ah… hff… Masayo…. Huh… Masayoshi. You're wanted in the Sub-commander's office." Her smile dropped, now she appeared a little frightened, "Sho and Maria are in there too…"

Masayoshi's cheerful smile immediately disappeared, "Then…"

Her blue eyes began to tear, "Are we going to die Masayoshi? I mean… they said we'd do this only on the most severe of dangers…"

Masayoshi pat the girl on the head, trying to soothe her, "No no no… you'll be fine. I promise." He smiled gently, though in the inside turmoil was raging in his mind like a vicious storm.

With a quick hug and a "Thank you." The girl went back inside the great complex behind him and disappeared from sight. Once he was sure the girl was nowhere near him Masayoshi reached into his inside pocket, grabbing a black card with a yellow slash across a side, on the opposite side was a simple circle with two intercrossing triangles and a rune in the middle of the two, he threw it in the air murmuring "Initiate!" there was a loud cracking sound as the card was engulfed in fire, then he felt a light tingling in his feet, he closed his eyes…

When he opened them he was inside a building. The hallway he was currently standing on was waxed so well he nearly slipped when he gently felt the floor touch his black shoes. With a quick sniff, the stagnant washer smell quickly took its effect; he blanched and stared at the door in front of his face.

"U.N. MEETING IN SESSION, PLEASE DO NOT INTRUDE."

With dark eyes narrowed and his face clear of expression, Masayoshi stepped forward and touched the pad next to the door as soon as –

---

VVSSSSHHH!!!

Serac slammed his soda into the armchair, his mouth wide open and his eyes as wide as saucers, "WHAT THE FU-"

Tsutomu quickly smashed the popcorn bucker over his head.

Masa quickly inspected the DVD player and sighed, "Darn… it looks like a cheap twenty-dollar one… I wouldn't worry about it, I'll buy a new one and we'll watch the rest of it tomorrow."

With a little sigh Tsutomu sank into the lounging sofa and smiled, "I think I like this collection you've dug up Masa… very nice…"

"Er… thanks, though you sure have been quiet so far."

The older girl smirked, flicking a strand of her chocolate-brown hair out of her eyes, "Theru's a busy girl, and Theru can't review every little one of your epic shows."

Serac munched on a bag of chips he found in Masa's kitchen, leaning against the wall, "It's alright… I bet a little bit more Connor and it'll be great…" he set the bucket of empty popcorn down; obviously he removed it from his head, but still had it in his left hand.

Masa sighed grabbing a glass of lemonade from the coffee table, "Yeah… just thought I'd show you guys what Masayoshi did before he was a teacher in Mahora."

Theru grabbed her won glass of lemonade and sipped some, "So he is a time-traveler? 'Cause your plot is kind of confusing."

With a slight grumble the dark haired young writer replied, "I didn't mean to… you know, it just turned out weird…"

Serac laid down, suddenly choosing to use Theru's lap as a pillow, "Yep… things happen Masa, no worries."

With a heave Theru shoved him off, and smirked, "And some things always need to be adjusted!"


	5. Four, Five, Six

"Hey guys, I'm back." Masayoshi opened the door using his knee (wow) and popped the door open a crack, "Oh, you brought more people."

Jennon waved slightly then returned to lounging into a nice la-z-boy chair. Droopy eyes and a slight smile, all was well in la-la land.

Eternal also gave a slight wave, and made a grab for some popcorn from the ever-defensive Serac, clutching onto that bowl like it was the last bowl of popcorn left in the world… or in Masa's Kitchen. The two were sitting on the floor, leaning against the coffee table, now a giant tray for the numerous bags of chips, popcorn galore, soft drinks of all kinds, Masa's book reports used as coasters.

Ansem sat on a cushion and politely took a sip of a strange concoction he found in the pantry, he immediately paled and ran to the bathroom, luckily only five seconds away.

Tsutomu and Midnight were sitting together on the loveseat (nothing implied, I'm really describing my living room here.) each holding a cup of lemonade and sharing a large bowl of popcorn between them.

The host quickly threw three random wires and connected them to the DVD player, after kicking it a few times he turned to the others, "So… Tsutomu, Serac… shall we finish?"

**One-shot theatre**

**Episode 5**

**Four, Five, Six**

The door hissed open, revealing a single beam of light creating a small circle of light among the shadows. Of course, he was expected to be in here, or rather, there. He slowly walked inside, the moment his left foot entered the pitch-black room the door shut behind him, but he wasn't focused on that, he was intently gazing on that white circle in the room. His every footstep resonated and boomed, seemingly to expand in the apparently endless darkness within.

"Masayoshi Hitodama, Child of Misery, Unbound to Earthly Fate. You know that when you are called here, just like your brothers and sisters before you. That you will embark on a glorious suicide, your life, in return for the world's."

Had Masayoshi been a normal man, he would have cowered by the man's great voice, but he knew what was to happen. Born on the Day of Misery, the day a demon called the Mother suddenly unleashed a horde of creatures from the magical parallel and destroyed most of the world. He was special, he and all the others born on this day were…. Ghosts. Everything they did appeared to not affect time. Time appeared to ignore them, though they aged within the special confinement chambers they lived in, the outside world of time and universe paid them no heed. Him and the children that were born on that day were then used in the time-project, generally resulting as suicide attacks of assassinating a single soul who may damage the future. These "timeless" children were perfect, they would kill, but the timeline would only be specifically changed in terms of what that "person" would do.

"Negi Springfield. Mahora Gakuen. Exactly 54 years before the Day of Misery. Find him, kill him."

Masayoshi pondered over this for a moment, then finally chose to answer, "Sho Katsurugi. And… Maria Hitodama. Will they accompany me?"

"No."

"Is anyone else involved?"

"no."

Masayoshi laughed inwardly, a lie of course. It wasn't real suicide, he wouldn't take him own life. They would allow him to strike and do the job, and then kill the Child of Misery, it was a way of making sure he wouldn't return to disprove anything. Thus far, it would be up to him to appear to be completely devoted to them… those foolish old men… I guess the only way to really solve everyone's problem is to just-

---

KRSSSHHHH

"Damn."

"Masa! What happened now?"

"Dunno, I think the power went out…"

"Lovely… well did we at least finish it this time?"

"Yep, I think so…"

"You know what? I really want to see some fluff."

"Who said that?"

"…baa…."


End file.
